Give out two drinks before the game starts if you know how long ago Grace died.
Take One Drink
- Clark gets called "Sparky"
- Rusty gets called "Russ"
When you hear these quotes:
- “Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
- "We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas."
Take Two Drinks
- If anyone brings up "the pool"
- If Clark's bonus is discussed.
- If Clark is working on his Christmas Lights
- If one of the kids corrects Clark or calls him out on something he is saying or doing wrong
Take Three Drinks
- When Clark hits on Mary the mall girl
- When Julia Louis-Dreyfus first appears
- When you hear the song "Mele Kalikimaka"
- Whenever there is a mishap with an animal
Take Four Drinks
- "Shitter was full"
- When he sleds using the non-nutritive cereal varnish
Finish Your Drink
- When the lights go on
- When Clark gets stuck in the attic and watches old films.
- When you realize neither kid was wearing a seatbelt when the old Ford Escort Wagon takes a ride off the snowbank
- During the "pledge of allegiance"
- During Clark rant of, "Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"